The Role of Grandparents

I found this great article on The Hartford's website. It's all about the kinds of roles that grandparents can have with their grandkids. It's full of a lot of great suggestions. Enjoy!

What is the Role of the Grandparents in the Family

How can you and your grandchild reap all the wonderful benefits of your special relationship? As a grandparent, you have many gifts to share and can be a positive influence in many ways. Here are some of the roles grandparents play along with tips on how to cultivate them

Grandparent’s Role as a Historian

As elders, grandparents hold the key to the family’s history, and can offer grandchildren insight into their heritage that provides a sense of belonging.

• Tell stories about yourself, relatives, events and family traditions
• Share pictures, old family recipes and newspaper clips
• Plan a family history trip
• Create a family tree with pictures

Grandparent’s Role as a Nurturer

Grandparents provide a safe harbor for their grandkids, helping them feel loved and secure, which can be especially beneficial in times of difficulty or stress. Your total acceptance and loving support will be gifts your grandchildren will cherish always.

• Keep an open door
• Welcome their confidences
• Listen non-judgmentally

Grandparent’s Role as a Mentor

With their years of life experience, grandparents can serve as a loving advocate, guiding their grandchildren along the path of life. You can encourage in your grandchildren a sense of self worth that gives them a strong start and helps them rise to life’s challenges.

• Offer your encouragement
• Believe in their dreams
• Nurture their strengths

Grandparent’s Role as a Playmate

Grandparents can be a friend and fun-loving playmate in the lives of their grandchildren—and their grandchildren will love and remember them for it! Here are some ideas to connecting with grandkids at any age:

• Take the time to engage in imaginative play
• Go to the park or movies
• Enjoy the exuberant energy of your grandchildren, whatever they may be up to

Grandparent’s Role as a Role Model

Grandchildren often look up to their grandparents as worthy models for how to live life. Your good example will instill positive values for your grandchildren to emulate.Your actions speak volumes:

• About how to relate
• What’s right and what’s wrong
• What is important and what is not

Grandparent’s Role as a Spiritual Guide

This is a powerful role that can have a profound and lasting effect on your grandchild’s life. Teach your grandchildren to appreciate the qualities of compassion, tolerance, kindness, gentleness and love, and demonstrate these qualities in your own action and speech.

• Spend time together in nature
• Engage in charitable activities together
• Listen to your grandchildren’s ideas about the meaning of life

Grandparent’s Role as a Teacher

One of the greatest gifts that grandparents have to give is their time—time that presents the opportunity to pass on their knowledge, wisdom and life experience as well as practical skills.

• As teacher, your curriculum can be your own, but be sure anything you share about values, religion and lifestyle also aligns with their parents’ beliefs.

Grandparent’s Role as a Caregiver

Grandparents can make wonderful babysitters, and childcare is expensive, so parents will probably appreciate whatever time you have to give. For some grandparents, caregiving is a full-time job, but it’s more common for grandparents to offer care sporadically—such as when the parents have a night out or the usual childcare is unavailable.

• Caregiving = opportunity to love, teach, talk and inspire

Grandparent’s Role as a Student

While there may be much you may have to offer your grandchildren, grandparenting presents a learning opportunity for you, too.

• Grandparenting groups, classes, books and magazines can inform you of the latest childrearing developments, provide a network of support and help you learn from others.
• Pay attention to pearls of wisdom your grandchildren have to share

Working Out Your Role as a Grandparent

Many factors will come into play as you work out your grandparenting role:

• Is there a type of grandparent that you want to be? Do you naturally gravitate toward a specific role or roles?
• What kind of grandparent would the parents like you to be? What are the needs of the parents, and how can you be supportive to them?
• How much time do you realistically have to spend with your grandchildren—and how much of a presence do you want to be in their lives?
• What are you willing and able to do?
• Do you live nearby or is distance a factor? Are you trying to decide whether to move in to help with your grandchild?
• Are the family dynamics open and easy or is there conflict you need to navigate?

Talk to the parents about their ideas for your role, and share yours with them. Be clear about your choices, air any concerns and keep the lines of communication open.

As you work out your role, always remember that the parents are in charge. You may have raised your own children differently, but unless you become the primary caregiver, raising your grandchildren is the parents’ job, not yours. Abide by the rules and routines they establish for their children. Refrain from offering advice unless requested, and even then, do so with caution. Unsolicited advice can lead to family conflict that can interfere with your relationship with the parents and therefore your grandchild.