Yay! I'm a Grandma! Now What?

I remember when our first grandchild was born quite vividly! He had some complications at birth and had to go to the NICU. It was very frightening! And because we were only the Grandparents, so no one told us anything about what was going on! Soon, the crisis ended, and our grandson was totally ok, but I remember thinking: Now what?

Being a Grandma is full of confusing feelings! I instantly loved this new addition to our family like I did when my own kids were born. But, this time I wasn't in charge! He wasn't mine. He belonged to someone else. He had parents and another set of grandparents. I was going to have to share him! I had no idea where my place was in this little guy's life!

So, I looked to the best example I had in what it looked like to be an awesome grandma. My husband's mom was an amazing grandma and I wanted to be just like her. When she passed away, every one of her 19 grandkids thought they were her personal favorite. How did she do that? Sadly, I never asked her that question before she passed away. So I had to look at I what I had observed to find out what she did that made her grandkids think of her that way.

Here are a couple things she did that I think helped her become that grandma:

1. Make the most of the time you have with your grandkids. We never lived close to her so my kids only saw her a couple times each year. But when we did see her, she made the most of her time with them. One of my favorite examples of this is a time she watched our kids while my husband and I went on a trip. Apparently she got down on the floor and played Legos with the kids. My kids LOVED Lego! They decided to make an entire city with Legos and her contribution was an old folks home. My kids thought that was so funny!! When the kids got older, she spent one on one time with them. I know that made  each of them feel very special!
2. Don't give advise unless you've been asked. No one likes to be told what to do! It's your kid's job to discipline, not yours. So stay out of it. Don't undermine their authority! Kids learn how to manipulate situations very quickly! You don't want to end up in the middle of your kids and grandkids. Unless you feel there is real abuse going on, just keep those thoughts to yourself! I realize it can be really hard to keep quiet when you think your kids are being too hard on your grandkids. There have been a few times that I've wanted to say something in the middle of a tense moment. But I have always kept my mouth shut! And you know, my grandkids are turning out really great! Of course if they ask for help or advice, then it's ok to share with them. But they need to be the ones who ask!

What things have you or someone you know done to build a great relationship with their grandkids? Share your examples here by commenting!